Paranoia Carla Connor
by ccsoldierxxx
Summary: carla has locked herself away from the world, but will the people in her life try and save her before she destroyes herself?
1. Chapter 1

**Paranoia.**

The flat was in total darkness, the only noise was the faint sound of Carla's crying. If somebody was to stand at the door that sound would be the only way of knowing where the broken women lay. Sat in the corner of the room with her knees tucked under her chin, Carla felt safe there - As safe as she could feel in the place where she was raped. There were empty wine bottles all over the floor, puddles of the red liquid surrounding her as she hid from the world. The world scared her now, every noise made her jump out of her skin, every look made her want to curl up and hide. And that's exactly what she was doing.

The effects of the last bottle of vodka were beginning to wear off; the voices in her head were coming back. They were getting louder and louder until she felt like her head was about to explode.

"It's all your fault...you made me do it"

"You're a waste of skin Carla"

"A self-centred, pathetic, dangerous drunk!"

"What else would she lie about...being raped?"

"For giving her what she deserved"

"Carla, she likes is rough...so that's what I gave her!"

Carla needed to make them stop, make them go away, they were driving her insane. She needed some more alcohol that was the only thing that seemed to drown out the voices – even if it was only temporary.

The early morning sunlight began shining through the cracks in the curtains, flooding Carla's apartment with little rays of brightness, but more importantly shadows. It was only then that she realised shed been sat in the same spot for another night, not daring to move in case somebody was lurking in the darkness. All over the room little shapes were forming they played tricks on Carla's mind making her think there was something or somebody – more importantly that one person who she feared so much – ready to jump out and scare her.

As the flat became more visible with the light, Carla plucked up the courage to pull herself up and run into her bedroom as she did slamming the door shut behind her. She threw herself down on the bed and scanned the room for any changes implying that somebody had been there. Although the sane part of her brain told Carla she had been sat watching all night and nobody had come in, there was still that major part that was adamant somebody was out to get her, would get her if she turned her back for only a second.

Carla had given up on what she looked like now, she used to be dressed to the nines, perfect make-up and sleek shiny hair. She pulled an old anorak out of her wardrobe shoved it on over her baggy jumper took a deep breath and began walking out of the flat.


	2. Chapter 2

Carla's heart was beating hard against her chest, she could see people staring as she shuffled past them – she hated being looked at, people's eyes boring into her like they knew what she was thinking. Nobody had spoke to her yet and she liked it that way, Carla just kept thinking:

"if i can just get to the cabin, smile nicely and buy the booze then i'll be half way there." All that's left for her to do is to run home back to the safety of her little hideaway.

"come on you lot, i said i'd buy you a drink what you waiting for?" Michelle shouted for the last of the workers to hurry up and walk over to the rovers.

As they gathered outside the factory doors Becky nudged Hayley slightly and nodded to the other side of the road. By this point most of the workers including Michelle had turned and seen Carla, quite a few were even questioning whether or not it was in fact her. Her normally perfect hair was covering most of her face and the bits that you could see were mascara stained and worn. Everybody wondered how Carla was coping but nobody dared ask, she had always been such a private person and that's the way she liked it.

"Carla..." Michelle called over to her sister-in-law hoping that she would give her a reassuring smile that she was okay.

Carla had been deep in her own thoughts when her name was shouted, this caused her to jump and drop her money on the wet cobbled floor. Her heart started racing and panic flooded her body, she started shaking and could barely pick up her change there was exactly enough for two large bottles of vodka. As she knelt down on the floor trying to avoid eye contact with Michelle she glanced up and spotted at least a dozen people staring at her. These people used to be her friends, shed be with them alone everyday but now all she could think of was getting these voices out of her head.

While she looked up, the hood from her anorak fell down revealing her tired looking face Carla forced a smile to her collegues and got back to counting her change.

"Mrs C... fancy a drink?" was the next time she heard her name being said as Becky McDonald of all people shouted across the street "ya look like ya need one love! C'mon come and join us"

"Carla are you okay?" Michellle looked really worried and Carla hated seeing her sister in that way.

"erm...yeah" This was the first time Carla had spoke in days her voice was croaky and her throat stung, "look...i, erm... i have to go". Carla's hands were shaking that much she didn't think she'd be able to get her money back into her pocket. Quickly she scuttled away in the direction of the cabin.

"well should we go after her then?" Becky asked Michelle, It was rare to see workers caring towards their boss but Becky felt like she was more like Carla Connor that she cared to let on about.

Hayley quickly jumped in before Michelle could answer "She's a very private person is Mrs Connor, she wouldn't thank us for interfering with her business!"

"well she's going to the shop, maybe she's just getting some shopping in, i'll call round later and see how she is don't worry." Michelle was more worried than anybody about how Carla was coping with the rape and Frank being set free she had known Carla a very long time, she'd seen her suffer the most horrific things, losing her husband, nearly being killed by that nutter tony and his mate, but she'd never seen her like this before and she didn't like the look of what Carla was doing to herself. Michelle would never publicise that though, as Hayley said Carla was a very private person and she wouldn't like Michelle blowing her tough girl exterior.

Carla picked up her pace until she was almost running down the street to dev's "that's it, no more looks and smiles, no more conversations" all she wanted was to be out of the way – alone, but she was never alone frank was inside her mind everywhere she looked she saw him, every time somebody spoke she heard him and when people looked at her with sympathetic eyes she was him.

"Two bottles of Voddy Dev" her head was down with her hood up and her voice was barely audible, this caused dev to lean in closer to Carla which spooked her.

"no... stay away from me" she whispered while backing off, as she did her back bumped into the row of shelves behind her a few tins of baked beans fell onto the floor and clattered at Carla's feet. She jumped and turned to run,

"Carla love, i was only..."

"stay away from me" this time Dev could hear the panic in her voice and decided it was best to stay away.

The thoughts were running through her mind like they were on a loop, flashbacks to when her back had slammed against the door of her apartment, and next when she hit the cold hard floor.

That was it something snapped she just needed to be alone, she didn't know what she would do when she got back home the only thing that she did know was that something had changed she hated feeling like this but she couldn't stand being around other people. Carla knew she needed help but was too scared to ask. Little did she know that from pushing people away while she pressed the self destruct button she would also be reeling people in to save her.


End file.
